Biting clothes to save oneself from pain
Growing up, my mother MaNcube and my father WaMambo made sure that we connected with relatives from both sides. Introductions were made and it was left up to us to create the necessary relationships and connections with motivations though from the parents. Relatives came to visit. We visited relatives. At times the introductions were very clear. Other times they were as clear as mud! WaMambo could make it very visual, taking out his pen and drawing on pieces of paper so that we could understand.
Fadzai Maposah (ZNFPC Mash East Province)
The fact that there is history of polygamy on both parents’ sides added complications. As a child I learnt that as long as my parents told my siblings and I, that one was a relative I believed and welcomed them as part of the family. I discovered that I had a lot of relatives everywhere. Growing up we had cousins call us Mainini Fadzi, Mainini Nyari, Sekuru Chaka with so much respect that those who would hear our cousins say Mainini Fadzi is on her way, would expect an adult to appear and only to have us appear. The same cousins would bath their mainini’s, feed them and baby sit with a lot of respect. Those were the good old times.
Mainini Bongani who is only two years older than me, is my mother. For as long as I can remember she has been mothering me. We would meet in different environments and have a blast of a time. Too many blasts at times for a mother and daughter duo! It was either we met kuRockford, Shurugwi, my mother’s home area or she came to visit where we stayed or in kuSanyati.
As WaMambo was in the civil service, his job allowed us to travel and see different parts of the country as he was transferred from one work station to the other. We were privileged to stay in Mashonaland East, Mashonaland West, Masvingo and Harare Provinces as our father was assigned roles in different places. Friends changed. Some kept in touch. Others lost contact. Some friends reconnected with the advent of Facebook!
Being with Mainini Bongani as a young girl was wonderful and it is still wonderful! KuRockford we were buddies making sure that our harvest of tsubvu or shuma or tsambasi depending on the season was well taken care of. This included putting the fruits in appropriate places so that they would ripen properly and also that they would not be discovered and eaten by others. We went looking for firewood together. Mainini and I cooked together. I was always amazed at how the smoke did not seem to disturb her as she expertly moved the wooden spoon in the three legged pot as sadza was made ready. At times, I would move the wooden spoon in the pot, close the pot and rush to the hut’s door to get a breath of fresh air, go back to ensuring that the sadza was well cooked!
We did many things together. We talked about the future. Reading is one thing that we had in common and even while we were kumusha, we would ‘steal’ a few moments to read something! Another thing that we did comfortably was wear each other’s clothes and shoes comfortably! I could wear my dress and mainini’s jersey and be at ease. One day I was getting ready to wear one of mainini’s skirts that I liked. I was bringing the skirt down my bust over the blouse I was wearing when one older female cousin walked in and stopped me from bringing down my skirt.
Actually cousin took off the skirt. I was looking at her wide eyed when she asked “Is this not Bongani’s skirt”. “Yes it is Mainini Bongani’s skirt,” I answered and then before she could ask me anything, I added “she said I could wear it.” “It is not a problem that she said that you can wear it. You two are basically sisters more than you are aunt and niece. Diseases have no idea how close you are,” cousin continued.
By then she had lost me. Which diseases? Had my beloved mainini Bongani developed some disease that no one had told me about? While I was still to make sense of what I was going on, mainini Bongani walked in and was amazed that I still was not dressed and cousin was holding the skirt that I was supposed to wear.
With cousin between us, mainini looked at me with the look that said “And now?” My cousin held up the skirt up in my mainini’s face and then said “I see that you are always wearing each other’s clothes. Are you able to share the pain that comes with sharing clothes?” She had lost us in some jungle with that question. She picked up my skirt and handed it to mainini and then handed me mainini’s skirt. I was about to start wearing the skirt and she said “No!”
I remember my mainini giggling and asking “Why shouldn’t Fadzi wear that skirt?” Though this happened many years ago, I can still hear my cousin’s “Ahh”. What followed shocked us! According to my cousin since our mainini and I were now of age and the ‘it’ experience had happened for both of us, it was important that each time we wore each other’s clothes, we were to bite the clothes before wearing them! Her explanation was biting the clothes would ensure that one did not acquire ‘it’ experience pain known as jeko!
Under the watchful eye of my cousin, mainini and I bit each other’s skirts. Satisfied that we had done as instructed, after warning us that if we just wore anyone’s clothes anyhow, we would have painful ‘it’ experiences because the pain was passed from clothes, our cousin left the room. All I can say is a lot of clothes biting took place during our teenage years! Whether it worked or not . . .
https://www.herald.co.zw/biting-clothes-to-save-oneself-from-pain/