Be careful of what you follow without full information
Hormones have no manners. They do not respect protocols and boundaries. They work to trigger processes and at times the outcomes are not what we expect, but they still happen. Some instances of the first time `it` experiences that I have witnessed have been at church. Maiden or debut experiences are never easy. Rather they complicate what could have been just another day.
By Fadzai Maposah (ZNFPC Mash East)
Article published I the Herald Newspaper
I understand totally because when I had my first `it` experience I ended up not wearing the yellow dress that I had initially planned on wearing. I did not feel as bright as the dress and resorted to a sombre colour. In less than six months, I have witnessed two young women taking the maiden voyage of their `it` experience while at church. Their whole outlook changed on the day. Or maybe it did not and the other church members could not pick what I picked because I had `inside` information.
In the first instance, the young lady was dressed in a bright yellow skirt and a floral top. When I saw that she had, had a mishap and the tell-tale signs were there on her skirt, my heart sank on her behalf. She was totally unaware of what had happened and was standing outside church with her back to the building. On approaching her aunt, as I was a visitor at this particular church, and telling that her young niece had joined womanhood, the aunt went into a panic. Even behind the mask, I could tell and see the shock registered in her eyes and how she developed would be wrinkles on her forehead.
The aunt quickly recovered and began to think on her feet regarding how she would attend to the issue. Seeing the aunt panic, I had many questions race through my mind. Now if the aunt was panicking, how would the niece handle the situation? I think in every situation, it is important that one person remains cool, calm and collected. Throwing everything to the wind and no one remaining stable results in a lot of confusion. In her panicky mood, one question that the aunt asked was “Why today of all days? “
Taking that as a rhetoric question, I chose not to verbalize my answer. Instead what I did was say to myself, “Dear, these things just happen. They do not understand the days of the week as we do”. Making sure that I was very polite, I then said gently, “Its fine. It will work out well.” What was fine as the aunt was panicking, I really could not explain. I felt that she needed reassurance and that I was ready to give. I then urged her to go to her niece and attend urgently to the issue at hand.
From a distance I watched as the aunt called out her niece’s name. At first I wondered why she was doing that. Actually I was about to march to her and say that was unnecessary. Then I realized why she had done it. When she called out the niece’s name, the niece turned and faced her aunt and in the process she was `hiding` the stain. When the aunt got to her niece, she said something and then touched the niece’s hand which was about to turn the skirt. Maybe the niece really wanted to confirm that the skirt was soiled.
Getting a wrapper commonly named after our northern neighbor, ‘Zambia’, the aunt helped her niece wrap it around herself and then led her to the lady’s bathroom. The result of having a wrapper over the skirt, began a trend among the adolescent girls that day. It then appeared that a ‘Zambia’ revolution had taken over the adolescent female members.
Without even asking why the first girl had put on a wrapper, the less informed simply followed suit. It was as if the church members were reacting to some fear of missing out on a trend. The things people do without realizing why they are doing it. So if someone had heard that one girl had stained her dress and then covered herself with a wrapper, one could never pick out the girl because all the adolescent females were wrapped up. I could then relate very well to a story that one pastor once shared about how members can start doing something until they call it part of the religious practices yet it is not.
He shared how a church had been built with a low roof such that upon entry everyone going to the pulpit had to bend. From the congregants’ side, it appeared like the ones going to lead the services were bowing down and had to bow down as they went to the pulpit. When one day some young people asked why the people would do that they were accused of trying to go against the beliefs of the church. They were only saved by an older church member who said that the faulty roof had created a fake tradition and that even with the proper roof some would continue to bow.
After this incident, it got me thinking that it is important for the church to have supplies that any female who suddenly has an `it` experience can draw from. And the worst question that one female can ask another female is, “Are you sure that you did not know that it was coming?” Some questions are better left never asked. Even if one is sure that it was coming, or it has come, mishaps still happen. Some women ask questions as if they are a part of a very important investigative team whose findings are critical for the nation’s development and advancement. Every facility, faith based organizations included, need that one ‘go to’ person who has sanitary ware and the proper support for those who have the `it` experience while seeking to strengthen their spiritual health. Some voyages come announced.